It all started almost 10 years ago when I came home crying after work one day. I got such harsh feedback from someone who reported into me and my peers, that my manager felt uncomfortable putting the feedback into the reporting system. I felt broken at my core - I could not understand how could I possibly have gotten such rotten feedback when my true intentions towards others are good and I loved people altogether? Turns out, as I was moving up the ranks with my achievements I was sending people home feeling unheard, unappreciated, anxious, and disengaged. The actual impact I created did not reflect my true intention.  

Coincidently (or not!), despite the general perception of my confidence and success, I  felt restless, overwhelmed, drained and depressed at times. 

I could have gone on to argue with the feedback, defend my intentions or take yet another management course. But I did not. 

You see, several years earlier, right after long-waited graduation from university and high hopes for my immigrant future in Canada, I was diagnosed with cancer. And at that time, I made a decision that I will take ownership of what I can control- whether it comes to my health, my body, my life and my actions. So I turned to what served me before - inner work. 

After years of managing many more relationships and teams, launching products and receiving awards for leadership and people management, here is what I learnt- you can’t effectively influence and manage others, unless you manage yourself first. We all impact others every day whether we acknowledge it or not. By investing in ourselves, we actually invest in those around us. 

Because when your cup is full, and you are truly connected to your inner power, you trust yourself and able to navigate up & downs with ease & contentment, you become comfortable with discomfort, you want to elevate and not compete with others, you seek diversity of thought without threat,  you perceive instead of judge , you take risks without debilitating fears, you fail and learn, and you genuinely connect with and care for others. You lead from within while creating results on the outside that matches it.

Interestingly, the tools and support that had the biggest impact on me were not offered in corporate training & leadership programs. My curiosity and commitment to find what works sent me on a quest to  explore yoga teacher training, life coaching certification, meditation retreats, shamanic work, movement, traditional and spiritual therapy,  and coaching. I experienced the power of opening & growing in the community. I then started to apply and share what I learned in the language that my reportees, colleagues and professional communities understood. I discovered that I can be a bridge that connects the needs of the leaders with the frameworks, practices and formats they would not find for themselves elsewhere. 

What if we thought about a leader's growth and development not in a traditional way, and we reversed the cycle? Before setting up development plans, teaching people how to manage others, beating up their confidence, feeding their inner critic & ego, instead we gave them the tools to find their super powers, manage their self talk, connect to themselves, build their resilience so that they feel fulfilled and competent to navigate the world with ease for themselves and others? Won’t such leaders enable truly inclusive, collaborative, innovative and sustainable high performing environments we all want to do our best work in?